Monday, May 23, 2016

A Pixar Story

For a writing exercise, I was doing a story that fits the "Pixar formula."

 Basically, the Pixar formula is as follows:

 And here is what I came up with when I tried to follow the formula. Some words from the formula are in my story and some are just implied. The story is about a cockatiel based on my pet, Cooper, and his odd behavior.

Cooper’s Pixar story

Once there was a cockatiel called Cooper. He was small and white, and he could talk, although as he didn’t know human speech he had no idea what he was saying. Every morning he ate breakfast with his special person, a girl. He lived with the girl and her mother. He hated the mother because she pulled out the bottom of his cage with loud rattlings that scared him. Other times the mother would push a roaring contraction around near his cage. The thing could never get inside the cage, but Cooper knew it wanted him. He hated the mother for being the commander of such dangerous things.
              The girl was different. She talked to him in a beautiful soft voice and let him run freely on the table or her desk. Every morning she ate a large, flat round thing called a waffle. Cooper loved waffles. They tasted like heaven. His dream was to someday eat a whole waffle, even though a single one was bigger than he was.
              One day the girl was gone. No warning, just gone. The day before, there had been much moving of heavy things. This scared Cooper and made him cry all morning and flap his wings against the bars of his cage. But when it was over, the girl had played with him and talked to him a long time. She even cooked a waffle just for him and left it in his cage. Then both the mother and the girl left the house. Later in the evening, the mother returned. The girl didn’t.
              The next day, the mother sat alone at the table eating breakfast and reading the newspaper. (Cooper knew newspapers because they were always below the floor of his cage.) She ate no waffle, but instead spooned mushy, wet, oatmeal from a bowl.
              During the morning, she changed the food and water in Cooper’s cage. She also removed the waffle. Even though this had been his chance, Cooper hadn’t been able to eat it.  It had gotten cold and hard with only a few nibbles around the edges.  Still, he tried to bite the mother when she took it. Her strange oatmeal substance had cheated him out of that day’s waffle.
              The next day, the girl also did not return. Nor the day after. Cooper was not good at telling time. He existed either in a world-with-girl or world-without-girl. He resigned himself to his new existence.
              One day the mother stood in front of the cage a long time. She talked to Cooper in a soft voice. One word she repeated over and over: “Kaw-lidge.” Cooper didn’t know what it meant. She reached her finger into the cage. But Cooper didn’t want her finger. He bit her. She said “Ow!” and drew her hand back and latched the door. Then she yelled at him.
              Several more times the mother put her finger in Cooper’s cage. Cooper kept biting her. Then one day, the mother unlatched the cage door and left it open while she ate breakfast. Cooper ignored it at first. Then he came to sit on the edge. Then he flew over to the table.
              The mother ignored him. She continued to eat her oatmeal and read the paper. Cooper ignored the oatmeal. It didn’t appeal to him. However, the newspaper kept waving around in his face and attracted his attention. It smelled funny. He didn’t think he could eat it. But when he bit it, it made a funny crackling noise, which he liked.
              The mother didn’t yell when he chewed the newspaper. Apparently she didn’t care. On his tiptoes, Cooper chewed the snapping and crackling paper. He made snapping and crackling noises back at it. When he got tired of that page, he ran to the other sections of newspaper lying on the table and attacked them.
              Every day there was a new paper. Cooper’s new dream was to shred an entire newspaper before the mother finished breakfast. Now he let her pick him up on her finger, even though she still pushed the roaring monster around and took out the bottom of his cage.
              Finally, when the winter rains lashed against the house, the girl returned home. Cooper heard her voice from the porch, and even though he had nearly forgotten her, he recognized it immediately. He called out many times. The girl put her suitcases down, and opened the door of his cage. Cooper was so excited he flew from the cage door like a bat out of hell. He missed the girl entirely and landed on the mother’s shoulder. Cooper was angry. He had made a mistake! He bit the mother. She yelled and shook him off. Cooper flew away as crazily as before, but this time his aim was true. He came to rest on the girl’s shoulder, and after much complaining he finally settled down.
              The girl and the mother laughed a long time. When Cooper was calm enough, the girl took him over to the kitchen. She reached in the freezer and pulled out a familiar packet. She was making a waffle!
              Cooper was happy.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Kiyora Kanaru Miyajima 23 - 30

Ch 1 23-30

I haven't updated in so long. :( But at least I have eight pages this time. In this section, Kiyora gets an unpleasant surprise. Later, the guys ride the ropeway to the top of Mt. Misen to see the oldest demon.

I'll note here that I appreciate how the artist gets the little details about Miyajima. The ferry I see in the comic is the same ferry I rode, and the station is the same station (including the fact that the streetcar station is right next to it).

Page 23

きよら (思想):やった
Kiyora: Yesss!
Got the same boat today too!

Building: Direct to Miyajima
Hiroshima Streetcar Miyajima Stop

Friend: I’m biking from here, so see you later!

Kiyora: bye

Page 24

Onga: Hey

Girl: You’re late!

Onga: Cheer up. I only missed one boat.

Girl: I guess you couldn’t help it

Kiyora: Giant rice paddle!

Sound effect: head whips around

Girl: huh?

Girl: what’s up?

Onga: Nah, it’s nothing.

Page 25


Onga-kun and that girl went off on the train together…

I just sat there and missed three trains…
In the end I was late for school.

I wonder if she’s his girlfriend.

Crow Spirit: Could be

Kiyora: Onga’s my prince…

Kiyora: Hey, Crow Spirit, are you listening?
Why do you get small when you sleep?

Crow Spirit: Snore…

Page 26


Princesses: Very delicious

Princesses: We are praising it, Kiyora. Kiyora! Really…

Staring off into space

(Miyajima Ropeway)

Crow spirit: Soooo, Onga

Onga: Don’t creep up on me like that!

Page 27


Crow spirit: Are you dating anyone?

Onga: I wouldn’t tell you.

Crow spirit: But you’d tell the demons???

Onga: Maybe.

Crow Spirit: You always were a brat ever since you were a kid!

Stomp Stomp

Onga: You’re rocking the car.


Onga: Told you…

Page 28


Onga: Why are you even riding the ropeway?

Onga: You all can fly!!

San-San: I can’t when I’m so hungry.

Onga: No way! I’m taking this oyster rice to the first demon.

First demon: It appears that the wind will grow stronger over the next three days.
The island is a given, but boats should also be careful.

Page 29


Thank you.
I’ll let Dad know too.


Onga: I’ll drop by again.

First Demon: Is Fuuga in good health?

Onga: Dad? Kakiya and the fire brigade keep him hopping. He’s great.

Onga (thought): Until I was seven years old

Page 30


Dad could see the three demons
Before that it was grandpa
And before that…


Onga: We received advice and commands from the demons in order to protect Itsukushima.

Onga: Huh?

Onga : That’s not smoke, those are petals coming from the shrine!

Notes : If I hadn't read the earlier conversation with Kiyora, I would have interpreted the conversation on page 26-27 differently... The crow spirit shows up behind Onga and proceeds to ask leading questions about his dating life. Then the crow spirit gets jealous and flies into a rage (pun intended) at the idea Onga might be confiding in someone else. If you were Onga, wouldn't you interpret it as "This guy is coming on to me"? Who knows, maybe Onga does think the crow spirit has a crush on him. Onga is pretty tight lipped overall.